HULK SMASH.

age of ultron

So, there’s a little movie coming out May 1 titled The Avengers: Age of Ultron, and if you aren’t jumping-up-and-down-screaming excited about it, don’t bother reading this post. You are dismissed.

Here’s a little important history regarding the Disney / Marvel buyout: Back in 2009, the Walt Disney Company purchased Marvel Entertainment for a whopping $4 billion (for those who don’t realize how much money this is, $4 billion is roughly 444,444,444 Chipotle burritos with guac. Disney doesn’t play around. Also, I want Chipotle). So then everyone freaks out and thinks Marvel is going to be bad and awful because of the Disney influence.

Then the Disney/Marvel conglomeration drops this EPIC trailer featuring “I’ve Got No Strings” from none other than Pinocchio. The song was given a completely terrifying overhaul and is now the punchline for Ultron as well as pure nightmare fuel.

For comparison:

Here’s a rundown of my “unfiltered” thoughts, just in case you wanted to see what goes on in my brain (it’s messy):

  • This is pretty creepy. Reminds me of The Walking Dead theme a little.
  • Eerie piano, check. Tick tock of a clock, check. Weird banshee noises. Check.
  • GUITAAAAR.
  • WHAT IS THIS GHOST VOICE? THIS IS A CHILDREN’S SONG, PEOPLE.
  • Crowds running around screaming. How reassuring.
  • This is much more Marvel-y. Give me all the sweeping orchestra you have.
  • Something tells me The Avengers are not kicking butt right now.
  • Go away, ghost voice.
  • …Ultron is scary, yo.
  • THERE ARE NO STRINGS ON ME.
  • Now it sounds like something from Bowser’s Castle in Super Mario 64. Still terrifying.
  • Fin.

Soooo, yeah, this is pretty awesome and Disney/Marvel really knocked it out of the park. More childhood-ruining music, please.

ultron gif

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